First time burning outside at night. Definitely liked the atmosphere, even if a large flying bug thing did spend some of the time buzzing around, looking for the light. I have, at least, memorised the chant, and I spent a moment holding the paper I’d written on, to give myself a bit of space to let go, and I think that was helpful.
I’m getting better at visualising the dirt scrubbing off in the shower, too. I can manage a grey-ish cloudy water at my feet, which is not bad for someone who is shit at abstract visualisations. I find that sort of visualisation work difficult, moreso than going to a landscape and wandering around, so I’m hoping I’ll have at least a basic visual down by the time this work is over.
I’ve also had the urge to find ways to pamper and take care of myself. I’m not, and have never been, particularly femme, so a lot of the more typical methods some might suggest don’t really work for me. I do, however, like the idea of some sort of body lotion for after the shower. Finding the right one, for the right price, may or may not be an option, and I may just need to buy an unscented bottle and mix some essential oils in, but that’s something I am looking at.
I had sort of pinged that this work would touch on self-love and self-care. It’s not something I’m very good at a lot of the time. So exploring ways to make myself feel loved, and happy, and worthwhile will probably play a larger role here than I was expecting. But that’s okay. It’s all valuable work, and if it leads to change and transformation, all the better.