So the parents are out tonight, so I did my ritual at 7pm, just because I could. I had another go at improvving a rite to Ganesha to hold the burning, though I still need to do some reading and research and get a few more prayers and epithets in my head. I sort of know the structure of a basic puja, but I’m nowhere near sticking to it yet. I’m still deciding whether this work will be done by the end of the month or not, and whether Ganesha is going to be present past that time.
A lot of my hesitation in continuing through April is just a sense of how far I’ve come so far, and a sense that, with the next SoK rite coming up on the New Moon this month, it might be better to have this work done by March 31, so I can focus then on SoK work and my circle-casting stuff. I think the timing for all this feels better than carrying on through Easter. I’ll still get my 30+ days, though, so that’s not the problem. That just feels like the right time to end it, so I can get on with the other work I need to do.
It’s been another rough day. I’ve been migrainey all day, which isn’t conducive to decluttering, but I’m pretty proud of what I’ve achieved so far. Hopefully, I’ll be in a better mood tomorrow, so I might get more work done. I also still want to dye my hair red, so that might happen tomorrow, or maybe next week idk. But it will happen. I need my red hair back.
I’ve been pondering a lot about the name Hekate gave me a long time ago, Ara Phoenix. The Phoenix has been part of my life for a long time now, just in terms of iconography, and it appearing in other things here and there. And in doing fire magic for self-transformation, that really feels like an appropriate name to settle into. I’m not going to go out tomorrow and change my name, but I’m more seriously thinking about it in a way I haven’t done before. But then I’m thinking a lot about marking that sense of self-transformation, and of becoming, of being reborn, to welcoming and embracing this new me, and how to do that. And Ara Phoenix feels a lot like the right name to use for that. But idk, we’ll see. I want to get this magick done first before I make any decisions about that.