Today has been a productive day. I finally felt like tackling the files and one of the drawers under my bed. I cleaned out five files, I think, and threw out most of my uni assignments, bar a small handful I didn’t want to lose because they are my best ones. I threw out three bags of rubbish, and a few other bits and pieces got put in the donation pile. I’ve really only got two more big things left to do: the second drawer under the bed, and the cabinet where my record player lives. There’s a whole bunch of crap there that I need to go through, and not just the video games I bought but never play.
So that was good to do. I am beginning to fee like this is coming along nicely, and it’s coming to a close. This work has been hard, and easy, in a lot of different ways. I’ve certainly grown more confident, and less scared, about burning things inside, so that’s something. I’m not scared of it in the same way anymore. I’m always going to be a bit cautious, because that just makes sense, but I know I can do it now without risking setting things on fire, and that, to me, is a big success.
I’m still working on the confidence thing, and the ‘fear of success’ thing, but I’m not expecting those to be cured right away. They will need time. The Ganesha thing is still going well. I found a quick puja ritual I think I might try to mod into this burning magic, just so there’s a bit more structure to it than just burning the thing. I might do some mantra chanting as well.
Anyway. That’s about as good as it’s getting right now. I still need to shower and head to bed, since it’s now after midnight. Here’s hoping for a productive weekend.